Woman Wisdom, Lady Sophia.

A sneak oeek at my semon for Sunday! I strongly suggest you read the proverbs and Gospel reading before hand though, it makes much more sense in context!

http://www.textweek.com/yearb/properb20.htm

Today in our readings we are celebrating. And we are celebrating some of those who were, and still are, the lesser and least in our society. Today we are celebrating women and children. We are celebrating servants and slaves. We are celebrating Woman Wisdom, Sophia, and all that she brings. We are celebrating a good and obedient wife... hang on. Let's back up a bit and have a closer look at this well known reading. What is the Spirit saying to the Church today?

We recognise in ancient texts the power dynamics that allow men to idealise female virtue in terms that benefit men and often harm women. Notice that this text cannot even imagine a virtuous woman who is unmarried, that is, who is not in relation to a male as wife. It is easy to dismiss this, “oh well, that was then and this is now, we're over that sort of thing” (ha, I wish) or “another disgraceful example of the patriarchy at work! That poor ideal woman is working all the time, from dawn till dusk, in every place for every person! Outrageous!”. But neither of these approaches do justice to what is in a lot of ways a critical understanding about the way we think about God and each other.

Proverbs is a book of instruction, helping us learn how to live in a way that brings us closer to God. They are much concerned with the gaining and keeping of wisdom – what can seem like foolishness to the wider world. These texts put much of this teaching about wisdom in the mouth of "Woman Wisdom," the personification of wisdom in Hebrew Scripture as well as in much of the ancient world. She calls upon humans to walk in her ways and follow her path. Proverbs 31, then, is set in the larger context of wisdom literature, and the more immediate context of Woman Wisdom.

There are some unusual aspects to this text that can go unnoticed. Firstly, a lot of the work this ideal woman is doing is not contained to the sphere traditionally allowed for women. While she clearly takes care of her husband and household and excels at domestic activities she is quite active outside the home as well. She is a successful businesswoman, considering a field and buying it , and is a viticulturist to boot. She is an entrepreneur who works late into the evening , who plans ahead , and who is not idle . She knows how to dress for success and how to sell goods for a profit. Her work compares favourably to merchant marines , and one suspects that the reason her husband is well known is because of her, not vice versa!

But this amazing paragon of virtue is not merely successful in worldly matters. She is no uncaring tycoon, instead she “opens her hand to the poor and reaches our her hands to the needy”. She does not remain silent – her voice is filled with wisdom and the “teaching of kindness”.

Truly this woman is a paragon of virtue. One wonders how far a young man in ancient Israel would have had to look to find such perfection. And also, what exactly he was planning on offering in return.

So we've had a look at what this text does say, now let's have a look at what it doesn't.

No where does it say anything about this paragon being subject to her husband. She is not obedient. She does not submit. She leads her own life rather than following someone else's. She pursues her own ends rather than obeying orders. There is no hint that her industry is not her own, that she is demure or deferential, or that her pursuits are directed by others. This is an independent individual who is reliant on no other human for her success or worth.

Secondly, there is nothing mentioned about pregnancy or childbirth, traditionally key credentials for womanhood in the ancient world. No where is she identified or given status by her children. She is notably not dedicating her life to them, not deriving her sense of being from them. Being a mother is but a small part of her identity. Times change hey?

Finally, nothing is said about he appearance. Nothing. She could be tall, short, big, small, botoxed within an inch of her life (although I suspect we are in the wrong era for that) or gray haired and loving it. Her appearance is completely irrelevant. This may be because we are talking about a mythical figure – what could Woman Wisdom look like? Interestingly, the scriptures contain many descriptions of what God is like, but never any describing God's appearance... whenever my RE students ask what God looks like, I explain that without a physical body it is hard to look like anything!

So when we look at this ideal, this aspiration, what we find is a woman who answers to no one but God, who is praised and loved by her family but not defined by them, who works hard in many spheres not normally considered suitable for her sex and who throughout it all has an aura of kindness and generosity. We find someone who we can all look up to, someone who can not be contained within the boundaries of her sex and situation but who breaks through them in the power of love. A revolutionary, a seer, a woman. Someone with no power in the world, but all the power from God.

So how do we get there? How do we become such a person, or mythological figure, ourselves?

Let's look to the gospel for help with this one. We all know that Jesus rebuked his disciples and told them they should be as a child. I'm sure we've all heard sermons about how pure and innocent these lovely children are. I'm sorry, have you MET my children? Adorable, yes. Lovable, certainly. But pure? Perfect? Without flaw? Not so much. What is it about children, what is this quality that allows them to be so close to God?

I would like to go back to verse 32 to answer this question. “But they did not understand what he was saying and were afraid to ask him,” They were afraid to ask. Think about it. They were afraid of looking stupid, of getting it wrong. In our own time, no one wants to look uninformed, confused, or clueless. We withhold our toughest questions, often within our own churches and within Christian fellowship. We pretend we don't have hard questions. Yet the deepest mysteries of life do indeed elude us. Why do good people suffer? Why are humans so brutal to one another? Why does evil succeed? If God's own Son is betrayed and killed, then no one is safe. Why did God set up a world like this?

Why ask our hard questions? Because we withhold these questions at our own peril.

Verse 34 reveals what happens to the disciples when they sidestep the real questions they are afraid to ask -- they turn to arguing with each other, squabbling among themselves over petty issues of rank and status (verse 34). There is a direct line drawn from verse 32 to verse 34. When the disciples avoid asking hard questions, they focus on posturing about who is right.

We know this too well in the church. How would this story be different if the disciples had asked Jesus their questions? What kind of conversation might have ensued between Jesus and the disciples? What kind of relationship would it have engendered with each other?

How would our stories be different if we ask Jesus our questions? What kind of conversations might we pursue with Jesus? How would our life as disciples together be different as a result?

There may have been a time or two when I've gotten heartily sick of my daughter's questions. There may have been times when I've said the words I always promised myself would never cross my lips; “because I said so!”. But to ask is to learn, and to learn is to grow. If we don't ask the questions because we may not like the answers, we are doing ourselves a disservice. If we are too afraid of how we will look to take a risk, to venture outside the boundaries we have set for ourselves or had set for us by those around us, we lose the opportunity to come closer to the God who is our truth and our light.

The good news is that Jesus welcomes us even when we do get it wrong. We have the example of Woman Wisdom in front of us, an example that none of us can ever live up to, but it is in the trying, the questioning, even the falling, that we are most authentically ourselves and most authentically children of God. So let's ask those hard questions. Let's take that risk. And let's do it in the knowledge that no matter what, God has our back.

Amen.

I have copied this directly off another blog - with permission of course. Now I'm going to print it off and read it to Abby. Every year.

Dear Chase,
Hey, baby.
Tomorrow is a big day. Third Grade -- wow.
Chase -- When I was in third grade, there was a little boy in my class named Adam.
Adam looked a little different and he wore funny clothes and sometimes he even smelled a little bit. Adam didn't smile. He hung his head low and he never looked at anyone at all. Adam never did his homework. I don't think his parents reminded him like yours do. The other kids teased Adam a lot. Whenever they did, his head hung lower and lower and lower. I never teased him, but I never told the other kids to stop, either.
And I never talked to Adam, not once. I never invited him to sit next to me at lunch, or to play with me at recess. Instead, he sat and played by himself. He must have been very lonely.
I still think about Adam every day. I wonder if Adam remembers me? Probably not. I bet if I'd asked him to play, just once, he'd still remember me.
I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God's gifts to you.
So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.
Baby, if you see a child being left out, or hurt, or teased, a part of your heart will hurt a little. Your daddy and I want you to trust that heartache. Your whole life, we want you to notice and trust your heartache. That heartache is called compassion, and it is God's signal to you to do something. It is God saying, Chase! Wake up! One of my babies is hurting! Do something to help! Whenever you feel compassion -- be thrilled! It means God is speaking to you, and that is magic. It means He trusts you and needs you.
Sometimes the magic of compassion will make you step into the middle of a bad situation right away.
Compassion might lead you to tell a teaser to stop it and then ask the teased kid to play. You might invite a left-out kid to sit next to you at lunch. You might choose a kid for your team first who usually gets chosen last. These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things.
Sometimes you will feel compassion but you won't step in right away. That's okay, too. You might choose instead to tell your teacher and then tell us. We are on your team -- we are on your whole class's team. Asking for help for someone who is hurting is not tattling, it is doing the right thing. If someone in your class needs help, please tell me, baby. We will make a plan to help together.
When God speaks to you by making your heart hurt for another, by giving you compassion, just do something. Please do not ignore God whispering to you. I so wish I had not ignored God when He spoke to me about Adam. I remember Him trying, I remember feeling compassion, but I chose fear over compassion. I wish I hadn't. Adam could have used a friend and I could have, too.
Chase -- We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don't care if you win a single one of them. We don't care if you get straight As. We don't care if the girls think you're cute or whether you're picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don't care if you are your teacher's favorite or not. We don't care if you have the best clothes or most Pokemon cards or coolest gadgets. We just don't care.
We don't send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can't lose it. That's done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
Kind people are brave people. Brave is not a feeling that you should wait for. It is a decision. It is a decision that compassion is more important than fear, than fitting in, than following the crowd.
Trust me, baby, it is. It is more important.
Don't try to be the best this year, honey.
Just be grateful and kind and brave. That's all you ever need to be.
Take care of those classmates of yours, and your teacher, too. You Belong to Each Other. You are one lucky boy... with all of these new gifts to unwrap this year.
I love you so much that my heart might explode.
Enjoy and cherish your gifts.
And thank you for being my favorite gift of all time.
Love,
Mama

Out and Proud

It seems it's not 'cool' or 'done' to be proud of yourself anymore. We aren't supposed to say or think 'good' things about ourselves, in case people think we're 'up ourselves' or that we are judging people who don't do things the way we do.

Well, stuff that.

I've had enough negativity for the moment. I've had enough of reading about how people are making stuff up on facebook just to make themselves look good (really?) or about how I shouldn't mention any of my own successes because they might make the person I'm talking to feel inadequate. I make mistakes (oh Lordy, do I make mistakes) but you know what? There are some things I am damn proud of and I own them. Here's a few.

I am proud that I have such a great, adult relationship with my parents and my brother. My mum is my best friend. My Dad will always do what is best for me and my brother always has my back. And you know what? It's because we've ALL worked at it. Relationships are hard work. We have chosen to put the time and energy into ours and it has paid off.

I am proud that my husband and I still love each other. More all the time. And I am proud that we are honest with each other and that we do work through our issues... eventually.

I am proud that my big girl has lovely manners and has a God awareness that enhances her life.

I am proud that my baby boy has never had formula or cried for more than a few minutes without a cuddle. That he has been carried, not pushed, and that he is really securely attached to his family. And that he sometimes says 'da' ('Ta'. We're working on it.)

I am proud that I have my black belt. Come on, how cool is that?

I am proud that I have two full degrees. I worked hard for those degrees, and I get good marks.

I am... humbled and overwhelmed that I will probably be ordained. There is no pride there, that is nothing that I have done that has made this happen... there is nothing to be proud of in trying to follow God's will. Not proud, but... satisfied. Deeper than pride. More meaningful. Soul deep.

That's my list. The things I am most proud of in my life. And there will be more, because I live my life in a way that lets me be proud of what I have achieved. And you know what? I don't think I am any better than a formula mum who used a pram from day dot and is divorced with no higher education. I really don't. Because being proud of MYSELF does not make me 'unproud' of anyone else. I can enjoy my successes without needing you to share them. Because wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same?