Sermon 14-9-14

Matthew 18:21-35

There is a very clear message running through today’s gospel and epistle. A message about judgement, and forgiveness. And it isn’t the message we sometimes think we hear.

To start with, let’s look at what Jesus didn’t say.

Jesus didn’t say, “Forgive people when they have repented”.

Jesus didn’t say, “Forgive people when they have suffered enough”.

Jesus didn’t say, “Accept all wrong doing in the name of forgiveness”.

And what did Paul not say?

Paul did not say, “There is one right way to worship”.

Paul did not say, “We all need to look and act the same”.

Paul did not say, “There are no boundaries within our faith”.

This is what was NOT said. But are we prepared to face what was?

Paul and Jesus are speaking of the time of God, the ‘now’ and ‘not yet’. They are envisioning a time when all will stand before God and be held accountable, not just for our own actions but for the judgement we have made on others.

There is a time and a place for judgement. We use our judgement to assess the safety of a situation, to establish our own personal boundaries, to make decisions of what practices work for us in the formation of our faith. But Paul is speaking of a different kind of judgement. This is the kind of judgement that goes beyond our own needs and strays into an egotistical insistence that we know not only our own paths but that of others.

Can you see the problem here? The arrogance of human kind, that we can even begin to encompass the depths of our own journey with God, let alone decide what is best for others!  We hear in the media a lot about ‘mummy wars’, which is one manifestation of one person or group of people thinking they know the best and only path – in this case, to good parenting. Most of us know in our hearts that every child has different needs and responses, even within the same family, but enough barbs can get through the thickest hide. I don’t think anyone is immune to the occasional “should’s”… I should be doing this, she should be doing that, based not on our context or gifts but because someone else does it differently. I think I’ve told you before that for years I thought I wasn’t praying ‘properly’ because I had trouble with stillness and wordless time as prayer  - it literally took years to let go of that burden and allow myself to be me without trying to imitate practices that did not fit with my spiritual self of the time.

From judgement to forgiveness. Jesus blew the very concept out of the water with his words today.

The thing about forgiveness is that by its very essence, it isn't deserved.

When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive, 7 must have seemed like quite a generous amount. But Jesus enhances it beyond numerical reason, into the world of God. 

I feel that the concept of forgiveness has been abused by the Church as a whole for a long time. Women in particular were encouraged to stay in abusive relationships for the sake of outward harmony over inner peace. This is not forgiveness. People who had been abused by clergy were encouraged not to prosecute or even speak out. There was an understanding that to forgive meant to forget, to maintain relationship was all, that forgiveness meant you had to forget. These ideas have done immeasurable damage to the Church and her people, and is still breaking us today.

Forgiveness does not mean the embrace of violence perpetrated against us. It does not mean giving free reign to those who would do us harm. It does not mean a ready acquiescence to those who are stronger than us. The context of these teachings is key. Forgiveness is a gift of grace, a reflection of God’s love, not the curse of abuse or a reflection of our worst tendencies as humans. Although reconciliation of all human relationships is worthy of great time and effort, in the end our relationship with God must come above all else.

Forgiveness is not always easy. For some, it will never come. 3 years ago, I spoke at my son’s baptism on the 10^th anniversary of the terrible acts of September 11 2001. I struggled with this very topic – how do we forgive such unspeakable harm? For me it is distant – I lost no loved ones that day or in the days following – but the atrocity and unspeakable cruelty could not fail to have its effect.  If I struggle to forgive this act of evil, how can those whose lives have been touched by such harm even hope for the desire to forgive?

My conclusion is the same as it was then – when there is no forgiveness in us, we must turn to God. Forgiveness does not preclude judgement, it allows the judgement to rest with God and frees us from the burden of hate.

Nelson Mandela, after 27 years in a South African prison, said, Forgiveness liberates the soul.  It removes fear.  That’s why it is such a powerful weapon.  When asked about his jailers, he responded that forgiving them was a choice to set himself free.  He could leave those guards there in the prison instead of remembering them always by nursing resentment.  And soon after his release, before his election, when he came to Boston, he danced a little freedom dance for all of us to see.

In a nutshell, it is not up to us to decide who is worthy. It is not up to us to decide whose tradition is ‘right’ or who is deserving of forgiveness. We are closest to God when we are able to see our brothers and sisters who do things differently than us as not misguided but on the same journey we are, who will one day end up in the same place – standing before God. IT is right and good that we make judgements about matters of life and relationship – there are lines that we must not cross. But they are much wider I think than we tend to imagine.