Sacred Space

In my roamings I found this wonderful site as a prompt to prayer. <http://churchresources.info/pray/index.shtml>

It has beautiful prayers and allows reflection on what God is saying. And of course, it's non gendered! Something happened today that I didn't handle the way I should have, although maybe I just didn't have the time. But now, I have a plan!

My dear friend whose children have also started prep was filling in the forms to get her son help from the special ed unit. ASD has been mentioned. She has always known that her son is different, but was told that no diagnosis was possible until he is  6. Apparently that is not the case. There is a difference between knowing something and knowing it, and this change is heartbreaking. Of course she is trying not to blame herself, her parenting, his nutrition, but that to is much easier said than done. So she is trying to start working at a new school, start her kids at a new school, and deal with all the interventions and therapies that her boy is going to need without neglecting the rest of the family.

Today I just listened mainly, I said a few unhelpful things about ASD being a wide spectrum etc. before I copped to and SHUT UP. But what I think is going to be helpful is a sacrament, a visible sign of mourning for the child she thought she would have. Of course she loves him, wants him, would never change him, but he is not the child she dreamed of, does not have the relationships with her or others or learning she wished for, is going to struggle to have the life she thought was going to happen so naturally. I think it is important for her to acknowledge her pain and grief for this child she has lost. Because a dream child is still a powerful presence, maybe even more so if it was never manifest.

She may know what will help her, but I think a letter to this unknown child is a good start. She can share what she dreamed of for him, outline the life she had planned, go into detail about his life the way we try not to but can't help. She needs to say goodbye to this child so she has the space to embrace the one she has.

We will talk to God to, we or her alone if that's what she prefers. We will cry and shout and hurt, rant and rave and blame and question. Then we will burn that dream.

That is the past. Maybe then we can celebrate the future. She can write a letter to her boy as he is now. Write to him all the special things he says and does, tell him what she loves about him, the blessings he has brought into our lives. Share her dreams and goals for his life - and I suspect she will find that they are much the same. And we will celebrate what God has given us.

 This is part of the reading for today, Hebrews 9:9-10.


This is a symbol^* of the present time, during which gifts and sacrifices are offered that cannot perfect the conscience of the worshipper, ¹⁰but deal only with food and drink and various baptisms, regulations for the body imposed until the time comes to set things right.

It goes on to explain that Christ has cleared our inner selves, that the externals are important to us but not to God. Maybe that's what a sacrament is - an outside that reflects an inside, a way to align our inner and outer sense of God. I hope that's what I can help her do.