In my roamings I found this wonderful site as a prompt to prayer. <http://churchresources.info/pray/index.shtml>
It has beautiful prayers and allows reflection on what God is saying. And of course, it's non gendered! Something happened today that I didn't handle the way I should have, although maybe I just didn't have the time. But now, I have a plan!
My dear friend whose children have also started prep was filling in the forms to get her son help from the special ed unit. ASD has been mentioned. She has always known that her son is different, but was told that no diagnosis was possible until he is 6. Apparently that is not the case. There is a difference between knowing something and knowing it, and this change is heartbreaking. Of course she is trying not to blame herself, her parenting, his nutrition, but that to is much easier said than done. So she is trying to start working at a new school, start her kids at a new school, and deal with all the interventions and therapies that her boy is going to need without neglecting the rest of the family.
Today I just listened mainly, I said a few unhelpful things about ASD being a wide spectrum etc. before I copped to and SHUT UP. But what I think is going to be helpful is a sacrament, a visible sign of mourning for the child she thought she would have. Of course she loves him, wants him, would never change him, but he is not the child she dreamed of, does not have the relationships with her or others or learning she wished for, is going to struggle to have the life she thought was going to happen so naturally. I think it is important for her to acknowledge her pain and grief for this child she has lost. Because a dream child is still a powerful presence, maybe even more so if it was never manifest.
She may know what will help her, but I think a letter to this unknown child is a good start. She can share what she dreamed of for him, outline the life she had planned, go into detail about his life the way we try not to but can't help. She needs to say goodbye to this child so she has the space to embrace the one she has.
We will talk to God to, we or her alone if that's what she prefers. We will cry and shout and hurt, rant and rave and blame and question. Then we will burn that dream.
That is the past. Maybe then we can celebrate the future. She can write a letter to her boy as he is now. Write to him all the special things he says and does, tell him what she loves about him, the blessings he has brought into our lives. Share her dreams and goals for his life - and I suspect she will find that they are much the same. And we will celebrate what God has given us.
This is part of the reading for today, Hebrews 9:9-10.
This is a symbol* of the present time, during which gifts and sacrifices are offered that cannot perfect the conscience of the worshipper, 10but deal only with food and drink and various baptisms, regulations for the body imposed until the time comes to set things right.
It goes on to explain that Christ has cleared our inner selves, that the externals are important to us but not to God. Maybe that's what a sacrament is - an outside that reflects an inside, a way to align our inner and outer sense of God. I hope that's what I can help her do.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A Big Non-Event
So today was day 2 of Abby's new life, and I have to say it was a bit of a non event! Yesterday went great, she told me afterwards that she wasn't scared at all and that they didn't learn anything, they just had fun all day! The teacher said she settled in beautifully. Was keen to go back today (long may it last!) and had a lovely time playing with her new friends. I thought I would be in pieces but how could I be when she was handling it so well!
So really nothing to add now. My big girl is happy, I'm happy, and tomorrow William starts at childcare and I have no doubt he'll be fine as well. Wow.
So really nothing to add now. My big girl is happy, I'm happy, and tomorrow William starts at childcare and I have no doubt he'll be fine as well. Wow.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Night Before
So tomorrow my first born, my big girl, my baby, takes her first tentative steps into the institutionalized world. I have very mixed feelings about all this. Part of me... well, no, tonight all of me is just sad. Right now I'm not even a little bit excited for her. I have had five wonderful years of being the major influence in her life. I know everything, can do everything, can fix any hurt and calm any fright. Tomorrow she'll go off into the big wide world and have to fend for herself, for at least some of the time. And I will miss her.
Today we went to the IGA Rhythm and Rhymes festival, which was really fun! Highlight for me was Justine Clarke. She is so talented, great voice and incredible presence. Abby's favourite was Lazy Town and Dora - oh, the tv generation! She did wonder why Dora's mouth didn't move - we didn't really get that sorted out but she got distracted thank goodness! I was surprised how long Abby was able to sit and listen to the various music acts. She didn't want to go down to the front and dance, preferring to stick by mummy, but she did have a ball in our own little space. William loved it too of course - he loves anything she does. I think he'll miss her more than I will! A great day out, leading to two children fast asleep at a reasonable hour. We'll be back next year, though I may take another adult when one of them won't happily stay on my chest the whole day.
Now that I'm processing tomorrow a little more, I'm starting to get excited for my girl. We've been having the same conversation a LOT over the last couple of weeks. Abby says 'tell me about your fist day at school mummy".
So I say, "well, I was a bit nervous and scared at first because I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know anyone except my friend" "Allison!" "yes, Allison, and I didn't know the teacher or the other kids. So I was very shy." At this point Abby normally takes over, "and then you had lots of fun and made friends and got to play and do craft and you learned to write and then after a while you weren't scared anymore!" "Yeah, something like that".
We've talked a lot about how every day will get a bit easier and how after a while she won't be scared at all. And about how she'll make new friends and learn new games - I think the thing she's most looking forward to is learning to write. I've tried to gently point out that they may not do much writing on the first day but I don't think she was listening... now I'm smiling.
She's going to be great. I know a lot of teachers and they all love kids. And how could you not love my little girl! She is so kind - today at the festival another little girl dropped her toy and it rolled away, so of course Abby had to run over and pick it up and give it back. Jason had a talk to her (after she told us that 2x3 was 6, and 2x6 is 12) that not all the kids will be as good at counting as she is, and she said that she would help them. She's such a sweet thing.
I think I've talked myself into it! I am happy for my girl. She's going to have a wonderful time, we've brought her up good. She's strong and resilient and she can take care of herself. She has a little friend and will make more, and I can't wait for her to come home and tell us all about her first day. And hey, I read in the paper today that kids that argue with their mothers with clear logical reason (or negotiation) are better able to resist peer pressure, whereas those who don't have that experience are more likely to give in. See Mum, that's how you did it!
God Bless You baby girl. You make me so proud.
Today we went to the IGA Rhythm and Rhymes festival, which was really fun! Highlight for me was Justine Clarke. She is so talented, great voice and incredible presence. Abby's favourite was Lazy Town and Dora - oh, the tv generation! She did wonder why Dora's mouth didn't move - we didn't really get that sorted out but she got distracted thank goodness! I was surprised how long Abby was able to sit and listen to the various music acts. She didn't want to go down to the front and dance, preferring to stick by mummy, but she did have a ball in our own little space. William loved it too of course - he loves anything she does. I think he'll miss her more than I will! A great day out, leading to two children fast asleep at a reasonable hour. We'll be back next year, though I may take another adult when one of them won't happily stay on my chest the whole day.
Now that I'm processing tomorrow a little more, I'm starting to get excited for my girl. We've been having the same conversation a LOT over the last couple of weeks. Abby says 'tell me about your fist day at school mummy".
So I say, "well, I was a bit nervous and scared at first because I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know anyone except my friend" "Allison!" "yes, Allison, and I didn't know the teacher or the other kids. So I was very shy." At this point Abby normally takes over, "and then you had lots of fun and made friends and got to play and do craft and you learned to write and then after a while you weren't scared anymore!" "Yeah, something like that".
We've talked a lot about how every day will get a bit easier and how after a while she won't be scared at all. And about how she'll make new friends and learn new games - I think the thing she's most looking forward to is learning to write. I've tried to gently point out that they may not do much writing on the first day but I don't think she was listening... now I'm smiling.
She's going to be great. I know a lot of teachers and they all love kids. And how could you not love my little girl! She is so kind - today at the festival another little girl dropped her toy and it rolled away, so of course Abby had to run over and pick it up and give it back. Jason had a talk to her (after she told us that 2x3 was 6, and 2x6 is 12) that not all the kids will be as good at counting as she is, and she said that she would help them. She's such a sweet thing.
I think I've talked myself into it! I am happy for my girl. She's going to have a wonderful time, we've brought her up good. She's strong and resilient and she can take care of herself. She has a little friend and will make more, and I can't wait for her to come home and tell us all about her first day. And hey, I read in the paper today that kids that argue with their mothers with clear logical reason (or negotiation) are better able to resist peer pressure, whereas those who don't have that experience are more likely to give in. See Mum, that's how you did it!
God Bless You baby girl. You make me so proud.
Monday, January 16, 2012
People are nice
Talking about religion on MM (again). Got this comment.
I totally agree with JJ but i have to say JosieY u are so refreshing when it comes to religion views and i have witnessed it here before! I think if the religious were more like u, we wouldnt have the ignorance or bigotry that it so present in Religion still today! You are always so open minded when it comes to religion and respectful of others views, even when theya re the opposite of your own! although i am not one to follow organised religion or a deity, u are someone i have great respect for and like to listen to what you have to say when religious topic’s come up on MM. RELIGIOUS PEOPLE OF THE WORLD….be more like JosieY…i think u will be happier little humans :)
Suddenly I feel a whole heap better.
I totally agree with JJ but i have to say JosieY u are so refreshing when it comes to religion views and i have witnessed it here before! I think if the religious were more like u, we wouldnt have the ignorance or bigotry that it so present in Religion still today! You are always so open minded when it comes to religion and respectful of others views, even when theya re the opposite of your own! although i am not one to follow organised religion or a deity, u are someone i have great respect for and like to listen to what you have to say when religious topic’s come up on MM. RELIGIOUS PEOPLE OF THE WORLD….be more like JosieY…i think u will be happier little humans :)
Suddenly I feel a whole heap better.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Successful Sleep!
For the last two nights, we've had success getting baby to sleep. We have a very strict routine: Abby has dinner, then PJ's/sleepsuit, bedtime story while Abby brushes teeth, dummy, air con and music on and then.... blessed silence. He has been sleeping till 6:30 with one feed between 4-5am. And I've started bringing him to bed with me for that early morning feed so I can doze. I'm also doing his dreamfeed in bed, which means all those happy hormones make me nice and relaxed so when Jason takes him back to his cot I can just drift off to sleep. Ahhhh, sleep. Welcome back!
First visit to St Catherine's
Today I visited my new 'home' church for the first time. I chose it because my friend Helen did a placement there and enjoyed it, and because some friends with children go there so Abby has playmates. It was interesting coming to a new church because I am naturally very shy but a confident church goer!
First thoughts: Rev. Tanya is away at the moment so Rev Tom Hood is Locum. No worries, I like Tom and it gives me a chance to check out the Church when the cat's away. We (William and I) were a bit early (go me) so the Church was about half full. Mainly older people, which makes sense because the Sunday school doesn't run in the holidays. The services in January are also at 8am rather than 7 & 9am. The welcomers did their job, with a smile and prayer book, hymn book and pew sheet. Of course, if I wasn't already familiar with how these work I would have been totally at sea. Sitting with William no one approached me or made eye contact. Massive fail! I suspect that maybe other young families would have approached me (or at least acknowledged my existence?) but as it was I was invisible. And this was before I was breastfeeding!
The service was good. Standard stuff. When Wills got fussy I stood down the back with him and during the hymn a woman came to me with an open hymn book and pointed to where we were. Excellent. The sermon was great, about living the life rather than just thinking about it. I like the way Tom preaches, although I'm not sure some of the congregation quite got the point. He was talking about the good old days, when everything was simpler and better. Everyone went to Church (although actually many people didn't) and read the Bible. Well, some people did, most people didn't of course. But that's not the point! It was before all those refugees, queue jumpers, started taking our jobs and food. Mind you, Abraham was a refugee and a cue jumper, from Iran in fact... I liked the way he started off with the comfortable platitudes and moved into the disquieting truths.
The greeting of peace was a bit disappointing. Some people actually walked past me without giving the peace, or even making eye contact! Very poor. When I basically forced one woman to acknowledge me, she shook my hand without catching my eye. So of course she shook the hand that was holding William and woke him up. Yeah... no.
After Church, at morning tea, one gentleman was kind enough to check that I had food and a drink, and ask about William. Then we left.
The thing is, I know that as a Church we are very bad at new things. That includes new people. I know that when I've been coming for a few weeks and some of the newness wears off they will be lovely. And when Rev Tanya gets back she'll kick some Spirit into them. Rev Tom was great, made a point of coming to talk to us etc., but he's not their priest and they know it. But if I didn't know all this, I sure as heck wouldn't be going back.
The question is, do I give Rev Tanya the feedback or would that be rude?
First thoughts: Rev. Tanya is away at the moment so Rev Tom Hood is Locum. No worries, I like Tom and it gives me a chance to check out the Church when the cat's away. We (William and I) were a bit early (go me) so the Church was about half full. Mainly older people, which makes sense because the Sunday school doesn't run in the holidays. The services in January are also at 8am rather than 7 & 9am. The welcomers did their job, with a smile and prayer book, hymn book and pew sheet. Of course, if I wasn't already familiar with how these work I would have been totally at sea. Sitting with William no one approached me or made eye contact. Massive fail! I suspect that maybe other young families would have approached me (or at least acknowledged my existence?) but as it was I was invisible. And this was before I was breastfeeding!
The service was good. Standard stuff. When Wills got fussy I stood down the back with him and during the hymn a woman came to me with an open hymn book and pointed to where we were. Excellent. The sermon was great, about living the life rather than just thinking about it. I like the way Tom preaches, although I'm not sure some of the congregation quite got the point. He was talking about the good old days, when everything was simpler and better. Everyone went to Church (although actually many people didn't) and read the Bible. Well, some people did, most people didn't of course. But that's not the point! It was before all those refugees, queue jumpers, started taking our jobs and food. Mind you, Abraham was a refugee and a cue jumper, from Iran in fact... I liked the way he started off with the comfortable platitudes and moved into the disquieting truths.
The greeting of peace was a bit disappointing. Some people actually walked past me without giving the peace, or even making eye contact! Very poor. When I basically forced one woman to acknowledge me, she shook my hand without catching my eye. So of course she shook the hand that was holding William and woke him up. Yeah... no.
After Church, at morning tea, one gentleman was kind enough to check that I had food and a drink, and ask about William. Then we left.
The thing is, I know that as a Church we are very bad at new things. That includes new people. I know that when I've been coming for a few weeks and some of the newness wears off they will be lovely. And when Rev Tanya gets back she'll kick some Spirit into them. Rev Tom was great, made a point of coming to talk to us etc., but he's not their priest and they know it. But if I didn't know all this, I sure as heck wouldn't be going back.
The question is, do I give Rev Tanya the feedback or would that be rude?
Friday, January 13, 2012
To Mick
Dear Mick,
It's hard to know what to say to a dying man. You're not really aware of what's going on, I know. I guess in a lot of ways that's a good thing! You didn't know me at the beginning of our visit today, although you did by the end.
I think it's getting very close to the time when you leave us. In a lot of ways that will be a relief to all of us, especially you. You always feared becoming a burden on others, as if we would ever mind one minute of the time we now spend with you. You have always been so independent - too independent in some ways, because it made reaching out for help too hard. You don't have to reach far now - we're right here with you, and with Ruth, and we will stay until we are no longer needed. I promise we will take care of her, even when she doesn't want it. You have been together for so long, she's not yet ready to let you go. I don't think she ever will be. But we will be beside her on her new journey as she discovers life without you beside her.
I know you aren't afraid to die - we spoke about it a lot over the last few months. I know you have confidence that God is with you and will remain with you as you leave us. You told me about your death experience, the peace you found. I hope you find it again soon.
You lived a good life Mick. You live on in your son and grandchildren. You fought the good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith.
God be with you always.
It's hard to know what to say to a dying man. You're not really aware of what's going on, I know. I guess in a lot of ways that's a good thing! You didn't know me at the beginning of our visit today, although you did by the end.
I think it's getting very close to the time when you leave us. In a lot of ways that will be a relief to all of us, especially you. You always feared becoming a burden on others, as if we would ever mind one minute of the time we now spend with you. You have always been so independent - too independent in some ways, because it made reaching out for help too hard. You don't have to reach far now - we're right here with you, and with Ruth, and we will stay until we are no longer needed. I promise we will take care of her, even when she doesn't want it. You have been together for so long, she's not yet ready to let you go. I don't think she ever will be. But we will be beside her on her new journey as she discovers life without you beside her.
I know you aren't afraid to die - we spoke about it a lot over the last few months. I know you have confidence that God is with you and will remain with you as you leave us. You told me about your death experience, the peace you found. I hope you find it again soon.
You lived a good life Mick. You live on in your son and grandchildren. You fought the good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith.
God be with you always.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
On being a feminist. (surrounded by idiots)(Ok, not really, but it feels like it)
Sometimes it's hard being a feminist, especially when you feel like things you find self evident appear not to be. And when lovely, kind people appear to be trying to sabotage your efforts with your children!
Me and the kids were at a friend's house. We'll call her Winter (because she has beautiful blue eyes, fair skin and dark hair. It makes sense in my head). The children, two girls and one boy were watching the tinkerbell movie. Fine. I'm good with that , no sex or violence, strong female characters, good moral message etc. Well, another friend (we'll call her Sally because it's a nice name) said "I hope you have boy movies as well!". Hmm.
Firstly, rude! Is it any of her business what movies Winter has for her children? Is she implying that Winter shouldn't let her son watch Tinkerbell? Or that she is somehow a negligent mother is she doesn't have violent, masoginistic 'boy' movies as well?
Secondly, I am blue in the face trying to teach Abby and William that there are no such thing as 'boys' and 'girls' movies, toys, colours, activities. That some misguided people will try and classify and restrict them according to their gender, but that they are (ahem) silly and don't know what they're talking about. So when people I know and love spout this rubbish in front of my children, I get cranky! I quickly responded "There are no such thing as boy movies and girl movies, and James quite likes this one". Sally "Yes there are". Me"No, there are movies that more girls like than boys, but that doesn't mean they are girl or boy movies'. Sally, "Well, try convincing my 14yo son to watch tinkerbell!". Me "well, there are no boys or girls movies in my house."
I don't think that the fact that a teenage boy doesn't want to watch tinkerbell makes it a 'girl' movie. I would be a bit surprised if he DID want to watch it. I would also be surprised if he wanted to watch 'Bob the Builder', which I assume would be classified as a 'boy' show.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
* Of course I still love Sally, it just frustrates me that a smart, well educated woman can be so misguided!
Me and the kids were at a friend's house. We'll call her Winter (because she has beautiful blue eyes, fair skin and dark hair. It makes sense in my head). The children, two girls and one boy were watching the tinkerbell movie. Fine. I'm good with that , no sex or violence, strong female characters, good moral message etc. Well, another friend (we'll call her Sally because it's a nice name) said "I hope you have boy movies as well!". Hmm.
Firstly, rude! Is it any of her business what movies Winter has for her children? Is she implying that Winter shouldn't let her son watch Tinkerbell? Or that she is somehow a negligent mother is she doesn't have violent, masoginistic 'boy' movies as well?
Secondly, I am blue in the face trying to teach Abby and William that there are no such thing as 'boys' and 'girls' movies, toys, colours, activities. That some misguided people will try and classify and restrict them according to their gender, but that they are (ahem) silly and don't know what they're talking about. So when people I know and love spout this rubbish in front of my children, I get cranky! I quickly responded "There are no such thing as boy movies and girl movies, and James quite likes this one". Sally "Yes there are". Me"No, there are movies that more girls like than boys, but that doesn't mean they are girl or boy movies'. Sally, "Well, try convincing my 14yo son to watch tinkerbell!". Me "well, there are no boys or girls movies in my house."
I don't think that the fact that a teenage boy doesn't want to watch tinkerbell makes it a 'girl' movie. I would be a bit surprised if he DID want to watch it. I would also be surprised if he wanted to watch 'Bob the Builder', which I assume would be classified as a 'boy' show.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
* Of course I still love Sally, it just frustrates me that a smart, well educated woman can be so misguided!
Happy Birthday Abby!
My darling daughter turned 5 a few days ago. I feel a mixture of emotions - mainly excited and happy (as is she, she loves being a big 5 girl!) but a little sad that my baby really is growing up. So this post is for you baby girl!
5 things I love about my girl:
1) I love how much you love your little brother. We have never had a moment of jealousy from you, and only a few times when he was tiny and screaming in the car did you want to get rid of him! You love to play with him, kisses and cuddles abound and I can trust you with him while I have a shower! You are so proud of him, you love showing him off. You are the best big sister ever!
2) I love how you always defend me. If Daddy says anything even remotely derogatory to me (joking! mainly) you refuse to let him. You think I am perfect in every way. Long may it last!
3) I love how kind you are. You really care about other people and are so good about sharing. When Emily accidentally kicked you yesterday you were focused on reassuring her that you were ok because she was upset rather than on you own pain. Off your own bat you gave Papa your biggest stuffed animal when he was dying to take to heaven. Recently you gave a special bear to Poppa for the same reason. And you let him hold your hand even when you didn't want to. You make my heart sing.
4) I love your imagination! You make up the best and most creative stories.
5) I love your enthusiasm. Everything is the 'best ever'! It is a wonderful example for how I should live my life.
And here are my 5 prayers for you for 2012:
1) I pray that school teaches you to love learning and exploring your intellect.
2) I pray that you find good friends.
3) I pray that you have some bad social experiences as well so you can practice your resilience and learn how strong you are.
4) I pray that you continue to explore your relationship with God and God's world.
5) I pray that you stay your sweet, loving, cheeky self and that Daddy and I can keep up with you!
You will always be my first baby, my special girl, my heart. God bless you always my angel.
5 things I love about my girl:
1) I love how much you love your little brother. We have never had a moment of jealousy from you, and only a few times when he was tiny and screaming in the car did you want to get rid of him! You love to play with him, kisses and cuddles abound and I can trust you with him while I have a shower! You are so proud of him, you love showing him off. You are the best big sister ever!
2) I love how you always defend me. If Daddy says anything even remotely derogatory to me (joking! mainly) you refuse to let him. You think I am perfect in every way. Long may it last!
3) I love how kind you are. You really care about other people and are so good about sharing. When Emily accidentally kicked you yesterday you were focused on reassuring her that you were ok because she was upset rather than on you own pain. Off your own bat you gave Papa your biggest stuffed animal when he was dying to take to heaven. Recently you gave a special bear to Poppa for the same reason. And you let him hold your hand even when you didn't want to. You make my heart sing.
4) I love your imagination! You make up the best and most creative stories.
5) I love your enthusiasm. Everything is the 'best ever'! It is a wonderful example for how I should live my life.
And here are my 5 prayers for you for 2012:
1) I pray that school teaches you to love learning and exploring your intellect.
2) I pray that you find good friends.
3) I pray that you have some bad social experiences as well so you can practice your resilience and learn how strong you are.
4) I pray that you continue to explore your relationship with God and God's world.
5) I pray that you stay your sweet, loving, cheeky self and that Daddy and I can keep up with you!
You will always be my first baby, my special girl, my heart. God bless you always my angel.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
My first post! Concerning the Bible...
Well, I've finally gotten around to starting a blog. I've called it Christian. Feminist. Mother. because they are the defining features of my life. What has prompted this auspicious occasion is actually a discussion I had on another website, <mamamia.com.au> about faith. It went something like this...
JohnJames
I’ve often wondered if, way way back in human pre-history, whether both language and religion were the by-products of children playing games with each other…
Don’t get me wrong…if you have faith in something, and it gives meaning to your life, then I’ll back you 100%…but religion and the mythical stories that go along with them…well so much of it comes across as silly when you look at it from the outside…
blah blah blah
JosieY
That’s the thing JJ – the stories in the Bible are just that, stories! The Jewish word is Midrash, it basically means a meaningful myth, a way of reading the stories to make meaning from them. The stories are about people trying to make sense of the world around them in reference to themselves and God. They were never meant to be taken literally. That doesn’t diminish the meaning or significance of them. Of course, this is just my view (although I am a biblical scholar). Many people feel that a literal interpretation is needed for their understanding of God and that is their right.
blah blah blah
rupoo
hey josieY. it upsets me greatly that you are training to be an ‘Anglican Priest’ and yet don’t believe the word of God to be just that – the word of God. not sure how this works as ministers in the Anglican church must subscribe to the 39 articles of faith, which it doesn’t appear you do.
I’m not judging your beliefs, I’m just questioning your wisdom and thought behind joining a universal communion that has fought bravely for the truth of the gospel over many centuries.
JosieY
Hi rupoo. I absolutely do believe that the Bible is the word of God, as mediated through men at a particular time and place in history. I do ascribe to the articles of faith, but again an interpretation of them that allows me to keep my faith and my common sense. The great thing about Anglicanism is that there is space for all of us. I am typical of a certain type of Anglican but there are plenty who disagree with me, and I am very comfortable with that.
Blessings,
Josie
I then wrote a brief post for MM about my biblical understanding. Whether or not they use it
is in the air at the moment, but I really enjoyed writing it. The hardest part was keeping it to one topic!
Being a Christian Feminist Mother (yes, it is possible)
When I told my mother I was applying to begin training as an Anglican Priest, her response was the same as when I told her I was moving in with my now husband... "no you're not". Of course, I listened to her as much as I did then... sorry mum.
I didn't grow up with religion, although I was always aware of God's presence in my life. I identified as an Anglican, but didn't really know what it meant. Coming from a science based family, I struggled with a lot of what I thought I knew about the God and the Bible - if God loved us, why did little African babies go to hell? How could Moses have parted the red sea? And I'm sorry, but the whole virgin birth thing just didn't sit well with me. As I completed my first degree, I read some popular commentaries on the Bible, that tried to use 'scientific' principles like eclipses and swarms of tiny insects to explain how the Bible really could be literally true. I remained suspicious.
Then I found my Church. The priest was a scholar, an educated man who pulled apart the stories in the Bible and explained what they meant. All of a sudden, I didn't HAVE to believe that a virgin could give birth or a man ascend into the sky on a flaming chariot. These became teaching tools, words from men (yes, men, I'll go into that in a little while) trying to explain what can not be put into words. They were baffled by the presence of evil and sin and death, just as we are now. But they had a faith and understanding that somehow God was behind it, and the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) was the result.
The Christian Scriptures (New Testament) were written decades after the death of a man they called Jesus Christ. There is plenty of historical evidence that this man lived and influenced the world in a significant way. His life and death were so compelling that people called him the son of God, Emmanual (God with us). There was much more written about Jesus that the 4 gospels and writings we know of from the Bible. The scriptures were gathered by a committee of men (there's that word again!) who chose those that seemed to best express the understanding they had of the man called Jesus son of Joseph.
But did Jesus actually say and do all that it says he did? The answer of course is that no one really knows, but many doubt it. What we do know is that the words and actions of Jesus were so compelling that people had to use extraordinary language to describe it. The blind can see, the lame can walk, and Jesus brings life back to those who have died. That is powerful language to describe a powerful man. The funny thing is, the more shocking the claim the more likely it is to be true. The people who were writing about Jesus would have tried to whitewash anything controversial, so when they didn't it must have been because it was such an intrinsic part of his character that they could not deny or hide it. So Jesus was accused of being a glutton and a drunkard. Jesus lost his temper. Jesus dined and touched and loved the untouchable and unlovable, in fact gave preference to them, and told them theirs was the kingdom of God. Jesus wept.
And in the end, Jesus died alone, betrayed by one he loved, frightened and insecure. I believe that Jesus is the son of God in a very real way, that God worked in and through him in a way that can never be repeated, that Jesus and God and the Spirit are one. I also believe that Jesus was fully human and fully aware throughout all his actions that he may have been wrong, there may not have been a happy ending. Yet he lived in a way that reflected his faith in God and in humanity.
Jesus showed us how to live in a way that expresses God's love to all God's creation. ALL of it, not just the white educated male middle class. I am a (strident) feminist and I have a big problem with gendered language for God. You can tell me God in gender neutral till you're blue in the face, but as long as you refer to God as male it will effect how you think about God. Try saying "Mother God". Doesn't it bring up a whole different realm of thought? I went to a talk by a very (in)famous Episcopalian Bishop, John Shelby Spong. He spoke about the belief that man (and man alone) is made in God's image. How about we stand a man and woman side by side, he said, and take away all they have in common. We'll get rid of the skin, the bones, the internal organs -- what's left? Because apparently that's where God resides...
I am a Christian. I am a feminist. I am a mother. These parts of myself work together in a way that I believe enriches and enhances my life and the life of those around me. I am blessed, not brainwashed, and my children will grow up surrounded by the love of God and in the knowledge that they, human and flawed, are enough.
I should probably stop writing here, otherwise this post will go on forever! Stay tuned though, for my letter to my daughter on her birthday and to my FIL on his last days.
JohnJames
I’ve often wondered if, way way back in human pre-history, whether both language and religion were the by-products of children playing games with each other…
Don’t get me wrong…if you have faith in something, and it gives meaning to your life, then I’ll back you 100%…but religion and the mythical stories that go along with them…well so much of it comes across as silly when you look at it from the outside…
blah blah blah
JosieY
That’s the thing JJ – the stories in the Bible are just that, stories! The Jewish word is Midrash, it basically means a meaningful myth, a way of reading the stories to make meaning from them. The stories are about people trying to make sense of the world around them in reference to themselves and God. They were never meant to be taken literally. That doesn’t diminish the meaning or significance of them. Of course, this is just my view (although I am a biblical scholar). Many people feel that a literal interpretation is needed for their understanding of God and that is their right.
blah blah blah
rupoo
hey josieY. it upsets me greatly that you are training to be an ‘Anglican Priest’ and yet don’t believe the word of God to be just that – the word of God. not sure how this works as ministers in the Anglican church must subscribe to the 39 articles of faith, which it doesn’t appear you do.
I’m not judging your beliefs, I’m just questioning your wisdom and thought behind joining a universal communion that has fought bravely for the truth of the gospel over many centuries.
JosieY
Hi rupoo. I absolutely do believe that the Bible is the word of God, as mediated through men at a particular time and place in history. I do ascribe to the articles of faith, but again an interpretation of them that allows me to keep my faith and my common sense. The great thing about Anglicanism is that there is space for all of us. I am typical of a certain type of Anglican but there are plenty who disagree with me, and I am very comfortable with that.
Blessings,
Josie
I then wrote a brief post for MM about my biblical understanding. Whether or not they use it
is in the air at the moment, but I really enjoyed writing it. The hardest part was keeping it to one topic!
Being a Christian Feminist Mother (yes, it is possible)
When I told my mother I was applying to begin training as an Anglican Priest, her response was the same as when I told her I was moving in with my now husband... "no you're not". Of course, I listened to her as much as I did then... sorry mum.
I didn't grow up with religion, although I was always aware of God's presence in my life. I identified as an Anglican, but didn't really know what it meant. Coming from a science based family, I struggled with a lot of what I thought I knew about the God and the Bible - if God loved us, why did little African babies go to hell? How could Moses have parted the red sea? And I'm sorry, but the whole virgin birth thing just didn't sit well with me. As I completed my first degree, I read some popular commentaries on the Bible, that tried to use 'scientific' principles like eclipses and swarms of tiny insects to explain how the Bible really could be literally true. I remained suspicious.
Then I found my Church. The priest was a scholar, an educated man who pulled apart the stories in the Bible and explained what they meant. All of a sudden, I didn't HAVE to believe that a virgin could give birth or a man ascend into the sky on a flaming chariot. These became teaching tools, words from men (yes, men, I'll go into that in a little while) trying to explain what can not be put into words. They were baffled by the presence of evil and sin and death, just as we are now. But they had a faith and understanding that somehow God was behind it, and the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) was the result.
The Christian Scriptures (New Testament) were written decades after the death of a man they called Jesus Christ. There is plenty of historical evidence that this man lived and influenced the world in a significant way. His life and death were so compelling that people called him the son of God, Emmanual (God with us). There was much more written about Jesus that the 4 gospels and writings we know of from the Bible. The scriptures were gathered by a committee of men (there's that word again!) who chose those that seemed to best express the understanding they had of the man called Jesus son of Joseph.
But did Jesus actually say and do all that it says he did? The answer of course is that no one really knows, but many doubt it. What we do know is that the words and actions of Jesus were so compelling that people had to use extraordinary language to describe it. The blind can see, the lame can walk, and Jesus brings life back to those who have died. That is powerful language to describe a powerful man. The funny thing is, the more shocking the claim the more likely it is to be true. The people who were writing about Jesus would have tried to whitewash anything controversial, so when they didn't it must have been because it was such an intrinsic part of his character that they could not deny or hide it. So Jesus was accused of being a glutton and a drunkard. Jesus lost his temper. Jesus dined and touched and loved the untouchable and unlovable, in fact gave preference to them, and told them theirs was the kingdom of God. Jesus wept.
And in the end, Jesus died alone, betrayed by one he loved, frightened and insecure. I believe that Jesus is the son of God in a very real way, that God worked in and through him in a way that can never be repeated, that Jesus and God and the Spirit are one. I also believe that Jesus was fully human and fully aware throughout all his actions that he may have been wrong, there may not have been a happy ending. Yet he lived in a way that reflected his faith in God and in humanity.
Jesus showed us how to live in a way that expresses God's love to all God's creation. ALL of it, not just the white educated male middle class. I am a (strident) feminist and I have a big problem with gendered language for God. You can tell me God in gender neutral till you're blue in the face, but as long as you refer to God as male it will effect how you think about God. Try saying "Mother God". Doesn't it bring up a whole different realm of thought? I went to a talk by a very (in)famous Episcopalian Bishop, John Shelby Spong. He spoke about the belief that man (and man alone) is made in God's image. How about we stand a man and woman side by side, he said, and take away all they have in common. We'll get rid of the skin, the bones, the internal organs -- what's left? Because apparently that's where God resides...
I am a Christian. I am a feminist. I am a mother. These parts of myself work together in a way that I believe enriches and enhances my life and the life of those around me. I am blessed, not brainwashed, and my children will grow up surrounded by the love of God and in the knowledge that they, human and flawed, are enough.
I should probably stop writing here, otherwise this post will go on forever! Stay tuned though, for my letter to my daughter on her birthday and to my FIL on his last days.
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