Bitch. Slut. Anything else?

I've been thinking a lot recently about gendered insults. The two that come to mind most immediately are bitch and slut. These are names used almost exclusively to describe women and in a way that minimises their personhood and gender. A bitch is, by definition, a female dog. By calling someone a bitch we are taking them to the level of an animal, denying them their humanity and by extension out own. Looking at this through my feminist lens, by calling someone a bitch/cow, we are saying that their very femaleness is the root of the problem. Sure, in some circles men are called 'bitch' as well. In some ways that is worse, because it is denying their maleness and 'cursing' them with femaleness. A double whammy there! And what exactly is it that would prompt us to use this descriptor? Generally, it would appear to be used when we think a woman isn't behaving with appropriate modesty, 'niceness' or when they have something we want ('lucky bitch'). Basically, if we don't like someone, she becomes something less than human. We are denying their humanity, and when we do that we move ourselves, not them, away from God. And heaven help any one who tries to do that to my daughter!

Talking this over with a friend the other day she asked, 'but what if she is one?'. I guess that depends on what you think the definition of a bitch is. Me, I live with one. Her name is Buffy. Otherwise, I hope that I can think of a more appropriate descriptor. Like, 'overfull of her own importance'. Or 'bitter about life and nasty to boot'. Or Abby's favourite, 'a meanie'.

Moving on to another old favourite, the completely demeaning and with no redeeming definition 'slut'. Ooooh, even thinking about it gets me worked up! Tell me, what exactly is a 'slut'? It's certainly a woman, no label exists that has the same connotations for men. Is it someone who enjoys sex? Has a certain number of partners? How many? 5? 10? 100? Over how long a period? Is it someone who dresses provocatively? In whose opinion? Can you be a slut without actually having sex? Who gets to decide?

A quick scan over my sources (google) shows that a slut is defined as someone with 'loose morals'. Hmm. once again I am forced to ask, in whose opinion? I'm sure that many people would see me as having 'loose morals', sexually or otherwise. I lived with my husband before we were married, I take contraceptives, I am LBTQI friendly and will be bringing my children up the same. Does that make me a slut?

Once again it is about denying someone their essential humanity, the same humanity which binds us all. I suspect we will find that when we call someone a slut it is because we are uncomfortable with their choices, for whatever reason, and rather than examining this we retreat into putting a barrier between 'us' and 'them'.

So I guess my name calling is going to have to get a lot more creative now.